tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6774668429036828713.post480883172347723199..comments2014-07-01T00:38:29.330-04:00Comments on everything you never wanted to know about me: Title TBA TrustingPoethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12933101011170736861noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6774668429036828713.post-83333946443846332452012-11-06T20:08:32.595-05:002012-11-06T20:08:32.595-05:00I have a very clear view of where I am going with ...I have a very clear view of where I am going with this, but I didnt think about the fact of giving away to much to early... I was more focused on trying to capture the readers attention. I think I did that, but now you are right, I need to figure out a way to keep it. <br />I think I may have to change the way I write the next chapter a little bit, not reveal as much as I had planned. <br /><br />I really appreciate all of your input, this is why I posted it to begin with. I wanted honest and helpful feedback. :)TrustingPoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12933101011170736861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6774668429036828713.post-57797862899326173742012-11-05T21:35:29.255-05:002012-11-05T21:35:29.255-05:00One of the hardest things I do when I write is rem...One of the hardest things I do when I write is remembers to show, not tell. Rereading my latest story, I've already found many spots I need to fix in this regard, I screwed it up in the second paragraph. <br /><br />You're on the right path, keep it up.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16485560337642781628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6774668429036828713.post-88393296538240530232012-11-05T14:34:48.899-05:002012-11-05T14:34:48.899-05:00Thank you. :) I will take your words to heart and ...Thank you. :) I will take your words to heart and fix what i need to! TrustingPoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12933101011170736861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6774668429036828713.post-28603883068772246862012-11-05T09:56:02.800-05:002012-11-05T09:56:02.800-05:00I promised to do this last night but after my firs...I promised to do this last night but after my first day back I was so wiped I spent my evening on the couch. Sorry for the delay.<br /><br />It was very hard to read because of the spacing. Make sure to have a blank line between all paragraphs, it's just easier to read.<br /><br />As to the content itself, it's a good plot. I have only two suggestions, please remember I'm not a professional, this is only my opinion.<br /><br />You foreshadow heavily. That's not a bad thing necessarily but it can make the rest of the piece harder to write. If we already know the outcome, the story has to be told in an interesting enough manner to keep us reading along. I'm not saying you can't do it, I'm simply saying you've made it a lot harder on yourself.<br /><br />The other thing is a piece of advice every writer has given at some point, show, don't tell. Check out http://www.dailywritingtips.com/show-dont-tell/<br /><br />It's a good story, just needs a bit of polish. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16485560337642781628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6774668429036828713.post-73070135705941952202012-10-30T18:21:07.968-04:002012-10-30T18:21:07.968-04:00Pretty please write Chapter two! I'm on the ed...Pretty please write Chapter two! I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for it!! Ranting College Girl https://www.blogger.com/profile/16215409478560962824noreply@blogger.com