Josie over at Two Shoes in Texas has started a new writing game of sorts called Two Shoes Tuesday. The idea is that each Tuesday she will give us a word prompt then everyone who wishes to participate will write a story, poem, etc based off that one word. This week the word prompt was "Danger".
For me danger can mean all sorts of different things, it can also take form as a dangerous person, or a dangerous place. As I was thinking of what to write for this topic it hit me...
I wrote this poem several years ago and for me this will always be synonymous with the word Danger. It is the word Danger that I teach my daughters to try and protect them from this... it is the word that was screaming in my head but I was powerless to utter. And Danger is also the word that went thru my head as I thought about posting this... Danger because of exposing so much of myself to anyone who may care to read... In the end I have obviously decided to share what "Danger" means to me....
In a dark room I was stripped of my pride.
You took from me what I did not want to give.
Now I have to fight on my own.
Fight the feelings of being alone.
Being the only one who knows.
My soul is torn, My mind is confused.
I am no longer complete because you stole that from me.
Now you laugh behind my back,
Laugh at another conquest you have taken.
I have been stripped of sleep
All i see when I close my eyes is the cold look in yours.
You must have no soul.
I am forced away to a lonely place
You forced me to run away.
Now I live in constant fear
And even the Vicoden cant take away the pain.
My heart crys out silently for release,
Release from the constant darkness that surrounds me.
I struggle to see a light,
But when I reach for it,
My hands are slapped away.
I feel as though I am living in a cruel joke of a world.
In constant terror of meeting another person like you.
Always keeping to myself
Afraid of another intimate moment.
Everytime I feel that I can let it go,
Your face and that dark room creep into my mind.
How can someone care so little about anothers self respect?
You must have none of your own.
How can you sleep at night?
Do my tears and pleas never enter your mind?
How about the fear in my eyes?
It doesnt seem fair that i am the one who continues to suffer.
When I sleep, cold sweats and fear is what awakens me.
I can find no pleasure in life anymore,
Not even in the touch of someone who may truly care.
Every time I look in the mirror I am forced to see the image of a girl
A girl who was not strong enough to win.
Even now that I have run,
I will forever be forced to relive that night.