Thursday, September 6, 2012

Grandmas Shoes

Josie over at Two Shoes in Texas has started a new writing game of sorts called Two Shoes Tuesday. The idea is that each Tuesday she will give us a word prompt then everyone who wishes to participate will write a story, poem, etc based off that one word. This week the word prompt was.... Shoes! Here is my story...

As soon as I saw the word "shoes" the first thought that went thru my head was an image of my 2yr. old daughter sliding her tiny feet into my shoes and smiling in delight as she clomps across the kitchen floor. She likes to wear her big brothers shoes to, but they dont make as much noise as mommy's high heels! I think this must be a right of passage to all kids as I remember my middle daughter doing this, and on a couple occasions my son did as well.
I also have my own memories of doing this as a little girl. I did not wear my moms shoes, I knew better then that, there was not much room for fun at home growing up... But I wore my grandmothers.
I remember going to grandmas house and the first thing I couldnt wait to do was go into her bedroom, open her closet door and rummage around on the floor til I found the pair I wanted. I never chose the same pair, (she had more then enough to choose from) but to me it was the greatest thing in the world to be able to wear grown up shoes. I know that for a lot of little girls the fascination is part to do with the loud noises they can make on hard surfaces, but for me that was never the case... I was only allowed on the carpet!
For me it was more the feeling of being a real grown up lady, sometimes I went to work, sometimes I was on a date, and still others I was just a lady wearing her fancy shoes to do whatever she wanted in!
Not all my memories of my grandmother are very pleasant, grandma is a very mentally ill woman and she goes thru periods of times when she believes that all girls are evil (among lots of other issues) and as for 11 years I was her only granddaughter surrounded  by 9 grandsons, you can imagine who would suffer the most when that would happen. But this memory of grandmas shoes is one I will always hold in my heart. Those memories allow me to remember that deep in her heart she does love me and its only her mental disease that caused her to act the way she did on so many occasions.
 Unfortunately over the years grandma has gotten much worse and to protect my own daughters from being hurt they will never have the experience I did with her. But they have always been able to wear my shoes and they always will.


  1. This brought back good memories for me too! I used to try wobbling around in my mother's high-heeled shoes, and even clomped around in my dad's shoes that seemed gigantic at the time!

    Sometimes what we learned from the people we love is what not to do in our own lives. Your children are blessed, they can know the joy of love and family without fear!

    Thank you so much for joining us for Two Shoes Tuesday... see you next week! (I'm going to post the prompt on Fridays to give folks more time to think!)

    1. Thank you Josie! It was nice to sit down and know exactly what I was going to write about... I had fun with this and I defiantly plan on participating again :)

  2. I am making my way (finally) around the 'shoe' posts from Josie's Two Shoes Tuesday challenge and this post touched me - for the lives loved and the lives that are being lost in mental illness. It was both heart-warming and heart-breaking to read.

    I happened to read the next post down and my heart goes out to you.....I don't know you - just found you through this blog hop, and I prayed for you. I pray you are safe and you find the strength to do what you need to do.

  3. I just found you through Two Shoes Tuesday, I have fond memories of my grandmother. She's 95 now and is smarter than I am actually. She's aging and has had some issues. She's getting around slower and slower, but her mind is still sharp. I am sorry for you and for your grandmother. Just continue to cherish the good times, and the memories. and My heart goes out to you as well for your issues you are dealing with. I am in a situation that is not good for me, yet after reading some of your blog, mine is nothing compared to yours. I don't know how you stay strong enough to stay. I hope everything works out for you.

    1. For me its knowing that Grandma is sick and that its not really her that makes her say and do the things she does... Its been a long time since I thought about wearing her shoes, but I had nothing but smiles and warm thoughts for her as I wrote this! :)