Saturday, March 24, 2012

I'm back!

I havent been around in a few days, my 2yr old daughter was pretty sick. Thankfully she is on the mend now, and I am back to torture you with more of the rambling thoughts that are ever present in my mind! :)
Not surprisingly my most recent thoughts are revolving around kids, and how nothing else seems to matter when they are sick. For instance, my daughter will be perfectly fine, but we spent a few worried days not knowing what was wrong with her. She was running 103, 104 temps with no apparent reason. No coughing, no puking... she was still eating and drinking, just slightly less then normal. Her ears didnt hurt, her throat didn hurt... Her only symptoms were that high fever and her constant crankiness, which who could blame her for that?! 
The thing is, that thru all of this the man in my life and myself stopped fighting with each other. We stopped worrying about all the little day to day things that arent really important, and banded together to take care of my daughter. I talked a little bit about my daughters paternity in one of my previous posts (I dont know how to link things yet, but the name of it is Judgemental people suck) so anyone who read that is aware that my guy is not her biological father... But he sure acted like a dad to her. He took turns with me rocking her, getting cool washcloths for her forehead and under her arms, helped give her medicine, and stayed up with her allowing me to catch a couple hours of sleep when I was about ready to drop from exhaustion.
Its amazing what we can accomplish when we work together instead of against each other...
People have asked me why on earth I stay with a man who repeatedly cheated on me. These last few days are just one more example as to why. When I needed him most, he was there. When it comes to the important things in life I can count on him, on more then one occasion he has been my strength when I had  none left of my own. All the fear and trust issues aside, he has proven time and time again that I can rely on him to be here and help me face whatever struggle I may be going thru. To someone such as me who has never had that in her life, it is somehthing very important.
In fact, I think I just surprised myself with my own revelation. Its amazing how when you start writing, words come out that you werent expecting, realizations that were right there at the tip of  your consciousness and just needed you to sit down and focus long enough for them to come out...
I think I need to go tell someone how much I love and appreciate him....


  1. First, the technical. When you want to link something, highlight the url, right click and copy it. Then, in your post, highlight the words you want the URL linked to. At the top of the posting box, there is a "link" feature, click on that and paste the part you copied in the box.

    1. Thank you! I think I managed to get it right.... should probably remove that sentance, but i think i will leave it in there anywhere for character! ;)

  2. Glad to hear the little one is on her way to recovery. Nothing more depressing than a sick child. I am not a patient man by nature and when a kid is sick, I just want to make them better NOW.

    I don't hold societies views on cheating. Daytime talk shows started preaching that any cheating means you should leave and leave now!

    Life doesn't quite work that way. I am myself the product of an affair. The man that spawned me and the man that raised me are not the same. My parents survived that affair. Had they not, I wouldn't have my little brother.

    You have to live your life. When people ask why you'd stay, tell them to mind their own damn business.

    1. I do agree, everyone has to live their own lives. They are the ones that have to live with the choices they make and the things that result from that, and what is right for one person wont be right for another.
      Sometimes it is hard for me though when the very few people I have in life that I would call friends are telling me that I am making a mistake and telling me I am making the wrong choice instead of being there as my friend and supporting me.
      Thank you for your words of encouragement, they mean more to me then you may realize.

    2. I'm so glad your daughter is feeling better, it's scary to have a little one with such a high temp for no obvious reason! I am also grateful that your husband pitched in to care for her and give you some support. Caring for a sick member of the family is exhausting, just being a mom is exhausting in itself! I am glad that you were able to find reasons to lay aside the recent squabbles and try once again to find peace and love in each other's arms. Peace and calm feels so good! Praying it can stay with you for awhile, so you can recharge your batteries!

    3. Telling you that you are making the wrong choice is them supporting you, sort of. They want what is best for you and just disagree with you on what "best" means.

      Thing is, only you know if the relationship is worth it. What your friends think and what I think doesn't mean anything. We can only offer advice. Ultimately, the decision is entirely between you and him.

      Just remember that what society finds acceptable and what we ourselves are willing to tolerate are often entirely different.