You know you are both to damn stubborn when you both end up sleeping on various piece's of furniture in the living room, while a perfectly good bed remains empty in your bedroom upstairs.
After our big romantic weekend away that started horribly, then turned out okay, today has almost been like we are perfect strangers. We had sex 5 times in less then 24 hours, yet less then 12 hours later we started fighting and haven't stopped. Now he is curled up on the recliner, I am on the love seat, and we are both playing the martyr and insisting the other use the bed.
Why are we doing this to ourselves?! I have spent more of the day crying then anything else and that was mostly because he was gone for the entire day with me having no real idea where he was. But the distance sure didn't stop the fight. Oh no, we managed to keep that going nice and strong via over 500 text messages today. I keep telling myself that in a way its a good thing, that we both obviously still care otherwise why would we be fighting like this? But even I'm not believing myself anymore.
We have been to hell and back in our 2 years together. And back again. He was there when my house burned down and all my worldly possessions were gone. I was there for him when he was in panic mode because the girl he cheated on me with thought she was pregnant (yes, fucked up I know, but everybody does stupid things). He was my shoulder when I had to travel out of state during custody issues with my baby, he even came with me to those court hearings and helped me every step of the way until it was over.... And those are just a few examples. So why do we as a couple who have been thru so much together now have the problems we seem to be having lately?
All I know is that I do love this man very much and I know what a wonderful heart he has inside him... And I am so tired of hurting all the time.
Yet, here we are, neither willing to sleep in the bed alone, yet not quite willing to share it with the other either.
And that is a very lonely place to be indeed.